Sympathy

• Constant gas – we’re talking room-clearing, eternal flatulence
• Heartburn
• Going to bed at 8:30 p.m.
• Feeling “fat” all of the time
• Back pain

Nope, these aren't MY symptoms, they're The Husband’s. Pretty sure he’s the one actually pregnant, not me.

If these are sympathy pangs, he better be open to ALSO gaining that 30 lbs the doctor told me to, as well.