Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Comedy Act

Fitting into clothes is getting to be a bit slapstick. Today, I was coaxing some jeans onto my 14-week pregnant body and fell over. I imagined myself as the opening credits to some cheeky '80s comedy...titled something lame like "Baby on Board!" or "9 Months and Counting!"

seriously, I would like to meet these waifs who giggle when they say they never wore maternity clothes and ate nothing but big macs for 9 months...and smack them. I am only 14 weeks! I will be shopping at Super Morbidly Obese Mom when all is said and done!

It's not like I am sitting on my ass all day...well, when I am not at work. I kickbox! I walk! I lift weights! I thought I'd be excited to see that bulge emerging, but it's less cute and more, "stop eating carbs!"

Sigh...this baby better be taking up most of the room in there. You hear me little man/woman! Momma can't end up on a Discovery Health documentary. My landlord will be pissed when they cut a hole in the house to get me out.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Latest Developments

One more week and I am officially in my second trimester! It's still so abstract to think I am going to have a kid. A kid that will bear some sort of resemblance of me. Who will have some of my personality traits. God, I hope he/she gets my sense of humor. And maybe The Husband's analytical skills and nose.

I officially grew out of a pair of pants that were too big three months ago. I invested in a belly band AND maternity undergarments. Belly, I. Am. Ready.

The Husband and I celebrated our fifth anniversary completely sober this weekend in Austin. I wasn't even sober on my wedding night.

OK, I DID have a glass of wine at dinner because I am JUST at the cusp where I can still order a drink without judging facing in return. It was so delicious...but probably because I haven't pickled myself in wine in over three months. Man am I a cheap date! If you are ever in Austin, do your taste buds a favor and go to Perry's Steakhouse (http://www.perryssteakhouse.com). They also have several desserts that come ON FIRE - who doesn't want that?