Comedy Act

Fitting into clothes is getting to be a bit slapstick. Today, I was coaxing some jeans onto my 14-week pregnant body and fell over. I imagined myself as the opening credits to some cheeky '80s comedy...titled something lame like "Baby on Board!" or "9 Months and Counting!"

seriously, I would like to meet these waifs who giggle when they say they never wore maternity clothes and ate nothing but big macs for 9 months...and smack them. I am only 14 weeks! I will be shopping at Super Morbidly Obese Mom when all is said and done!

It's not like I am sitting on my ass all day...well, when I am not at work. I kickbox! I walk! I lift weights! I thought I'd be excited to see that bulge emerging, but it's less cute and more, "stop eating carbs!"

Sigh...this baby better be taking up most of the room in there. You hear me little man/woman! Momma can't end up on a Discovery Health documentary. My landlord will be pissed when they cut a hole in the house to get me out.