2. Say "fuck." I am a huge fan of this word. Second in line: "retarded." Parents don't say these things, right? I need to start replacing these words with "gosh!" and "fudge!" and completely losing all sense of my former self.
3. Watch as many obesity reality shows as I currently do. I love "Heavy," "I Used To Be Fat," "600 lbs. Mom," you name it. This kid is going to have a complex from birth.
4. Watch as much MTV as I do. Although, "16 and Pregnant" and "Teen Mom" have been wonderful educational tools for me.
5. Listen to '90s music at top volume in my car. Granted, I am now the proud owner of Ultimate Mom Car - The Honda CR-V, which just screams Hott. But I doubt my kid will appreciate Biggie's "Hypnotize," EMF's "Unbelievable," or the Beastie Boys' "Sabotage" as much as I do.
Am I mature enough to be a mom?