It had to happen eventually: I am attending my first Fort Sam Houston Spouse’s Club function tomorrow.
I’m really nervous. What will these ladies be like? Will they like me? Will I succumb to my “nervous talking thing” and spurt out whatever ridiculous nonsense that comes to my head? (Note: this is often comical to witness at bars, not so much at job interviews…). What if they’re all wearing scrunchies and tapestry vests and ask me to be part of their needlepoint group that meets on Thursdays? Or their scrapbooking weekends? (Note: I am not hating on the hobby of scrapbooking, but me? With a scrapbook and stickers and construction paper? Just … no. I don’t even have my wedding photos yet. I know, this is disgraceful in more ways than one. We’ve been married for four years.)
Worse yet: will they bring their gaggle of children and then interrogate me on my failure to procreate?
I feel like I am getting ready to start my first day of junior high. I’m off to wash my face with Seabreeze, tease my hair with Stiff Stuff and dig out my Hypercolor shirt.
3 months ago